How many times do you say the F word? No, not that one! I mean the word FINE.
If you’re anything like most of us it will be too many times to count.
We all do it don’t we? I’m fine. You’re fine. We’re all doing just fine.
Only – are we really?
Are we really fine?
Just think a minute how often have you’ve said you’re fine when you’ve been anything but? So. If you’ve done it, why should your friends and family be any different?
Now I’m not suggesting that everyone who says they’re fine is on the brink of a meltdown or a burnout. However, if you’ve noticed that someone you know doesn’t seem themselves, there’s a strong possibility you may be right.
Life is complex and at times we all have things which can bring us down, but we are all different. What may seem like nothing to you may seem insurmountable to another person. Others may be living in very difficult situations, coping with grief, domestic abuse, debt, job loss, and so on.
So, next time you’re not convinced when you receive the answer ‘I’m fine’, just stop a moment and say, ‘Are you sure?’ Quite often this simple question will help to bring down barriers and open up conversation.
If it doesn’t and you’re still not convinced, reassure the person that you’re concerned about them and that should they ever want to talk, they can reach out to you. Don’t badger them for more information, but do make sure to check in again with them.
It’s not our place to judge, but I do believe it’s our place to support. A kind word and someone to listen really can make all the difference.
Here at Enlivened we provide coaching, networking and support to women who are living behind a façade. This includes those affected by burnout, working in a male-dominated environment, domestic abuse, living with ADHD, and financial distress. If you are worried about a friend or would like more information, please call us on 0333 772 1802 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Remember: if your life is in imminent danger call 999 for immediate assistance.
Words by Julie Randall