When we are in control we have the confidence within ourselves to understand that everything is OK. We are great at making decisions and can be our best. More importantly, we can manage our lives knowing that we can do what is expected of us. Feeling in control supports positive judgement and the ability to have a positive relationship with ourselves.
The law of control is an essential law in understanding how we function.
This law simply states that if we feel good about ourselves, then we can feel in control of our lives. And the more control we feel we have, the better our mental health.
If we become controlled by outside circumstances and other people, then we lose our self-control and become influenced by uncertainty and self-doubt.
Control is a constant. So the more aspects of our lives we feel in control of, the more we are able to manage. Intellectually, that supports positive brain health and our ability to enjoy what we are doing. Feeling in control also supports the brain by producing serotonin and positive brain chemicals from all of the things we enjoy doing in this space.
What knocks our feeling of control?
So what knocks it? Well, if we have an increase in stress in our bodies and our cortisol goes up, that triggers our primitive response and we begin to lose intellectual control. Our brain then refers to previous patterns to try and support us, which isn’t always helpful. We may experience self-criticism, negative thoughts, low confidence and lack of motivation. Anxiety, anger and depression are also in the mix when we are responding primitively.
How to remain in control
A really helpful way to stay in control is to note down what is going well. Invest in a notebook that you like and pop it in a memorable place to give you a nudge when you need to use it.
This activity helps our brain to search for things that have gone well and create new positive neural pathways. The more often we do this, the more we are able to stay in a good head space and feel well.
Regularly ask your friends, family and partner ‘What’s been good recently?’ so they too have to think about everything that has gone well.
If you’re struggling to find the positives, then pop me a message at www.hummingbirdhypnotherapy.co.uk and we can arrange a free initial consultation and get you back in control.
Words by Nicole Woodcock