I have often wondered how people feel about being on their own. Those who take time to just be with themselves and enjoy their own company. In fact, for a long time I always imagined it to be quite uncomfortable to be alone. My own negative brain would scream at me, shouting ‘Look at that loner on her own’ or ‘Obviously has no friends’. But I have often admired people who are happy to just sit and read a paper and have a coffee with their own company. I wonder if they have these annoying scenarios pop up and shout at them too.
I remember quite vividly living on my own in Leicester. A friend of mine mentioned that maybe I should take myself for coffee in my favourite shop to overcome the fear of being on my own. So I took him up on it, grabbed my book and headed out—scared!
I found a quiet corner, ordered a mega mocha, and sat down to read. After five minutes the noise in my head began to quieten, and I got lost in my book in a caffeine-fuelled daze.
These days it’s very different. In between work commitments and family, alone time seems like such a privilege. Or even a reward for juggling everything in the week and surviving. I spend most of my mornings in anxiety mode getting my children ready, aiming to be on time for school. Inevitably I’m always late, but instead of adding that to my bucket of negative crap, I embrace it. In fact, these days I have a joke about it with all the other late mums. Now we aim to beat each other.
Control your fear and enjoy being alone
Our fear stops us from making a proper assessment of the situation. It bombards us with lies and will continue to do so unless we take control and work with it.
Enjoy that quiet time on your own. Fill it with things that you love. Learn to have the courage and confidence to step outside of the wall you have built inside your head, one step at a time.
We all want to achieve things right now! We have everything we need at the touch of a button. But we have forgotten to give back and enjoy time with ourselves without technology. Those hobbies, crafts and exercises you enjoy doing on your own are the things that make you feel good. They also enable you to process positive information and move forward. So take a moment to find the one goal that will help you to step outside of your comfort zone, and spend some time with you.
This is not only incorporating self-care but also reconnecting with your sense of self and with your ability to slow things down and listen. In this way you’ll gain control and a more positive perspective.
If you struggle with anxiety, are fearful of stepping outside those comfort zones and need a confidence boost to move you forward in life, get in touch.
Further information and videos on various subjects can be found on my Facebook page Hummingbird Hypnotherapy.
Words by Nicole